


007 Fest 2017 Headcanons

by nekoii



Series: 007 Fest 2017 [8]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Baker! Q, Fruit, Gadgets, Gen, Habits, Headcanon, Home, M/M, Pets, Shampoo - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 14:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19832356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekoii/pseuds/nekoii
Summary: All Headcanons created for 007 Fest 2017Each chapter is it's own headcanon





	1. Habits

For [Fluff Prompt Table 005](http://mi6-cafe.tumblr.com/post/162357594162/007-fest-prompt-tables) \- Habits

* * *

Q forgets to eat. 

It’s quite the same for a few other minions in Q branch. They don’t, however, forget to refill their mugs. Usually remembering after sipping from an empty one for the third or fifth time. 

Q Branch’s _Tea and Coffee Station_ is an impressive thing.

It has to be.

After all, it is the sole thing that fuels the coding and mission-running minions.

Besides the staple beverage, there also always is a plate of tidbits and other bite-sized foods available. For those who notice it after pouring themselves a refill. 

And for those who don’t. The Station’s system has been rigged to automatically brew a fresh pot every three hours. Alternating between tea and coffee every other hour. 

The wafting scents usually attract stomach growls, it is the duty of every minion to kick their neighbours chair with orders to eat if they hear it. 

For the overlord however, a desk-delivery is needed. Because overlords don’t refill their mugs even after sipping an empty one for the third (or fifth) time. And overlords stomachs most definitely do not growl.

Bond asked a minion once, if they have a schedule for who feeds their quartermaster.

They don’t.

it’s become somewhat of a habit among the minions. They pass by Q’s desk anyway on their way to The Station.


	2. Bed Sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bed Sharing fill For Fluff Prompt Table 005.

* * *

Q had always wanted a king sized bed. He realised sometime in his youth, that a single just wouldn’t do.

Not when you had to share.

It all started when his bedside table grew too cluttered and he had to place his laptop next to him on the single before falling asleep.

It got more crowded as Q grew older - When his phone, tablet and other tablet joined him in bed.

Then when Q got a place of his own, there was his cat. Then another cat. And another. 

When he moved into the new - more spacious, MI6 issued - flat. He bought the king he always wanted, and even outfitted a proper study-workshop for all his tinkering and experiments.

But every time Bond sneaks into bed with Q, the agent would find himself sharing the bed with more than just Q and his cats. 

The charger head of Q’s phone would poke him when he stretched out his toes. The coiled length of a connecting cable brushing against his back. A thumbdrive or two under the pillow.

And always, a warm and pliant body, legs rubbing against his own.


	3. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Fluff Table Prompt - Trust

* * *

MI6 thinks Q is omnipotent. Overlord of his branch of minions. Going toe-to-toe with the worst of the double oh′s. However, Q is human - shocking, but yes - he does have the brightest mind nestled behind his two eyes, but he only has ten fingers. And one bladder (as is normal for humans).

Q needs a few seconds to sip his tea. A minute to stretch, yawn, and rub at his tired eyes. A few minutes to run to the gents - after holding in seven cups of tea for the past 15 hours.

Q trusts his minions to hold fort. And the double oh′s grow to trust Q’s minions. That MI6 has every 00-moniker in unit filled with active, living, agents. Shows not only their competence, but the faith in Q branch and a confidence in their double oh’s.

Once, QB-J8 saved 004’s life, because of course shit decided to happened the moment Q stepped into the gents.

Twice, QB-A1 overrode the maneuvering of drones equipped with darts. Away from 006, then towards the men pursuing 008.

Thrice, QB-M3 remotely created cover for agents 003, 002, 0011. Overheating lighting, malfunctioning sprinklers, faulty smoke vents.

Not to mention - all the doors they’ve locked and unlocked. Secure blueprints they’ve hacked. Surveillance systems they’ve overridden. Efficiently and timely executed, putting their double oh’s out of danger or in aid of the mission.

Many a time. It was a minion shouting out a double oh’s name - heart in their throat - before collapsing in relief as the agent reports back after a minute of gunfire. It was a minion on the other side of the comms, with a harried but grateful agent and their gruff thanks. 

Oftentimes. It was a double oh, ordering food and ensuring the minions ate, and driving them home when they were quite likely to fall through the gap at the tube. 

The two teams may bicker and have snark wars. But in each other they trust their lives, for Queen and country. And so they say - To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.

-

[This](http://teamqbranch.tumblr.com/post/163273843125/teamdoubleoh-lille082-said-boffin-to-sleek) triggered ^this. 

* * *


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Fluff Table Prompt - Home

* * *

Q Branch is home to Q and the minions alike. 

What with the amount of time they spend there, many call Q Branch their second home (if not their first).

Q may have his own office, with that old but comfortable sofa he sometimes sleeps on more often than his own bed.

But the minions have their sleeping bags, inflatable pillows, and a comfy nest they’ve made in a corner of their break room.

Often, after a long drawn out mission. Q could be found catching a nap in his office. While a few minions caught theirs in a tangled heap of limbs.

Bond pops by the break room whenever he comes by Q Branch, if only to fetch Q a tea refill.

So if he spies comatose bodies sprawled out in the beanbag corner. He’ll be sure to order something special to leave on the break room table. 


	5. Pets & Gadgets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Fluff Prompt Table 005 - Pets & Gadgets

* * *

Q branch is an animal loving branch. The gadget inventing part is quite a given.

Maybe it was something of a job hazard, secret service and all. So 98% of Q branch employees, lived alone. With only their non-human companions for company.

The tally currently; 12 cats, 7 hamsters, 5 turtles, 3 dogs, 2 iguanas, a snake, a parakeet, a rabbit and an owl.

2 of the cats were Q’s.

Val - head of cryptography - proud owner of Hedwig. And R - master of the beautiful Nagini. 

When Devin - head of R & D - fashioned an ultra light carbon message carrier with satellite connected cameras and GPS, and gifted it to Val a few years ago. That sort of started it. 

Now all the pets with collars have at least a camera, speaker and GPS tracker installed. The hamsters and turtles were the first test subjects for a nanobot adhesive. The snake was a bit tricky, what with all the shedding. But they managed to peg a fiber optic sensor with the help of some local anesthesia. 

Q’s cats of course has the best attachments. Turing has a bionic eye equipped with facial recognition scanners. And Keats has a smart blood chip prototype.

Q still lords over them with his patented cat pawprint and fur markings scanning algorithm. He puts it up as a prize for Q branch’s year end hackathon. Val wins it much to the cat owners dismay.


	6. Baker Q

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Anon Prompt exchange ‘Q is a stress baker’ 

* * *

Q is a stress baker.

Contrary to popular belief, Q’s kitchen at home is not empty. There always is enough ingredients for him to bake a few batches of gingersnap biscuits, a basket of scones, several Chelsea buns and at least one Victoria sponge. 

He has a Neff Slide & Hide® Oven, and a whole assortment of mixers, whisks, measuring cups, sieves, piping bags, and two dozen piping tips - just to mention a few.

Q favours the bite-sized easy to eat variety of bakes. As such, his Battenberg, Eccles, and Welsh cakes, were to die for. It took some time for him to perfect his scones and shortbreads. But they were now a staple of Q branch, with their own labeled glass jar on the break room table. Right next to the tea station. The glass jar was often refilled.

Breads in particular were a tricky spot - what with his cold hands that didn’t make for good kneading and rising. Q may or may not have invented heated latex-thin gloves, just for this specific purpose. 

Q baked so often that his house smelled like a bakery. He was careful to ensure the scent did not spread to his wardrobe. The minions were suspicious enough, what with how Q always shared the ‘bought baked goods’ from ‘that bakery’ which they were never able to find. 

It was 007 who unintentionally blew his cover one day. With an innocent passing comment on how the scones jar in the break room was running low, and that Q should bake the cranberry ones next. 

So much for his promising career in baking espionage. 


	7. Fruity Shampoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Anon Prompt exchange ‘ 00Q. Q finds out Bond’s secret love of fruity shampoos‘

* * *

It was a week after James moved in with Q, when the quartermaster noted a new addition to the shelf in the shower. 

‘ _Tropical Passion Aura_ ’ read the label of a small silver-green and red bottle that sat on their shower’s shelf. The bottle had a very artful passion fruit motif with swirls and cursive writings. Q took a sniff of the shampoo before replacing it on the shelf. Later when he kissed the back of James neck before they sat for breakfast, Q noted the same fruity scent lingered on the agent’s skin. He didn’t think much of it. 

A month later James had a mission in Indonesia, and when he was back, Q noticed the new bottle. A deep brown, with a creme coloured label with tasteful neat small print that read ‘S _avondeBali - Sabun Kelapa Muraya_ ’. After a strong whiff of coconut, Q scrunched his nose and placed the bottle back. James probably didn’t like it much either, because the next day, the bottle was replaced with a ‘ _SavondeBali - Sabun Nanas_ ’. James smelt of pineapple for a week. 

It was ‘ _White Grape and Jojoba_ ’ next after the mission in Greece. And a ‘ _Yuzu Green Tea_ ’ one when he returned from Japan. 

Q installed another shelf in their bathroom, so James could line up his collection. Also so that he didn’t accidentally pour ‘ _Jo Malone’s Basil & Mandarin_’ on his head. Q had groused at James that one time, the agent responded that Q smelt good enough to eat.

And eat him he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally posted up all my works from 2017's fest! Been procrastinating on this long enough ^_^" so glad it's done!
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading it :D


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